VansOpinion - PICKING ROBAK PRESIDENT MAKES GOOD SENSE

Physician/Regent Charles Wilson seems to think current vice chancellor for external affairs at NU would be good medicine for what ails the University of Nebraska. After a series of sneaky meetings, violation of public trust by certain regents who failed to follow the law and probably an abundance of ex parte arm twisting, we will soon learn of the decision - the final decision - of the Board of Regents regarding who they select to be the successor to President L. Dennis Smith. Smith is scheduled to retire and relinquish the throne on 30 June 2004.

Very likely the four candidate for the presidential appointment are just as ready to learn the verdict as those of us who have been following the selection process via the media. Having been numbed by the bogus selection process for Athletic Director, replacing L. Dennis Smith is not too newsworthy. Until his forthcoming retirement, Smith was practically unheard of except by those who occupy the upper levels of the west side of Memorial Stadium on game days and those the university are "wooing" for mega-buck donations in addition to the upper echelons of the effete snobs of academia.

Many of us have asked, "Why do we need to replace him" and "What does he actually do" for the large salary paid by the taxpayers of Nebraska and the additional bucks paid him by the University Foundation. I'm one of those.

If each of the chancellors can not adequately do their jobs without a Grand Pubah to look over their shoulders, then call in Donald Trump to fire the bum or bums. We could divert considerable funds to the asserted purposes of a university, namely educating students - something that gets a good deal less attention than football at Big Red.

Here is my analysis of the candidates. Peter Hoff, would bring the aura of academia to the post, however when he said his focus would be on research rather than education, his luster was dulled. J.B. Miliken, like Chancellor Harvey Perlman, would put another male smooth talking lawyer over professors possessing "terminal degrees." But it is questionable whether or not he would have the scrotal capacity to put Perlman in his place when needed. Admiral James O. Ellis, Jr. is one who I could very comfortably support. I could seen him standing Harvey at attention every morning and giving him his orders for the day. There would be no more building monuments to imaginary burning of bones on east campus. The admiral would have checked out the cadaver sniffing canine and his conniving owner, saving the university around $20,000 spent on Harvey's "Indian rock festival." And then, last but certainly not least is former Lt. governor, current lobbyist and vice chancellor Kim Robak.

Robak is smart, charming, gorgeous and something all the others are not - a woman. On a campus where the politically correct bitch and moan with monotonous regularity about the alleged gender bias at the University of Nebraska, Kim could clobber the critics. In her case, we could easily overlook the fact that she is an attorney because her positive virtues far out-weight that one tiny negative. My only hope is that somewhere along the line Perlman has ticked her off and that she has a score to settle with him. That would clinch my vote if I was a regent.

I firmly believe that if selected to become President of Nebraska University, the position would be in the good hands of a highly competent woman who can charm the socks off of the state senators at budget time and who can and will keep Harvey on a short leash all the time. It would save one six digit salary since Kim could continue to serve as an effective lobbyist and could probably throw better $35,000 receptions than the jolly elf she will be replacing.

So, members of the Board of Regents, when you cast your unanimous ballot for Kim Robak to become the next President of the University of Nebraska, many of us knew what the outcome of the selection process was going to be soon after it was launched, if not before. The only question that remains to be answered is why did you waste all of our money going through the process in the first place?