Search
Topics
Home  ·  Feedback  ·  Recommend Site  ·  Search  ·  Stories Archive  ·  Surveys  ·  Topics  
THE DACHSHUND AND THE LEOPARD
Posted on Thursday, September 23 @ 02:09:06 CDT by van

Humor In the course of a week I sometimes get a dozen or so ntertaining articles from various contributors. I can always depend upon my old pal Gene White, D.V.M. (My primary care physician) to brighten a day or two each week with some "leg-slappin' humor." Here is one example!

A wealthy lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here."

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says......

"Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

REMEMBER: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH B.S.

VansOpinion
Home
Feedback
Recommend Site
Search
Stories Archive
Surveys
Topics
About Van
Van's Links
Downloads

Search



Old Articles
Thursday, June 18
· PASTORS GET LITTLE SUPPORT FROM THE LUTHERAN CHURCH MISSOURI SYNOD
Friday, November 28
· PROCLAMATIONS OF THANKSGIVING BY PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Sunday, May 11
· IT'S A GOOD TIME TO SAY, "I LOVE YOU MOM"
Saturday, January 26
· ONE NATION UNDER GOD - LAUS DEO
Saturday, December 29
· KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's AND 70's
Saturday, December 15
· A MIDDLE EAST IMPERATIVE
Friday, December 14
· A DAY WITHOUT AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT
Wednesday, December 12
· THE SECRET SERVICE VIEWS OF PAST PRESIDENTS
Friday, November 23
· NOW THANK WE ALL OUR GOD
Sunday, September 09
· GOD DOES INDEED ANSWERS PRAYER
Monday, July 16
· CONSCIENCE AND THE CRAFT
· JESUS NEVER SAID "STOP AT THE LODGE ROOM DOOR"
Monday, April 23
· NEVER BRING PLANTS INTO THE HOUSE
Saturday, March 31
· WILL LINCOLN AREA LUTHERANS BECOME APRIL FOOLED
Thursday, June 01
· REV. RUSSELL SOMMERFELD SHOULD STEP DOWN
Thursday, March 30
· KATHY TAYLOR WILL BE THE NEXT MAYOR OF TULSA
Wednesday, March 29
· MORAL POVERTY COST BLACKS IN NEW ORLEANS
Friday, December 23
· HAVE A SAFE AND MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sunday, November 20
· IT'S A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO BE THANKFUL
Tuesday, November 01
· OUR POLITICAL PARTIES NEED A FEW WITH MARTIN LUTHER'S SPIRIT
Thursday, October 27
· SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT
Thursday, October 13
· HELP WANTED - MAYOR OF TULSA, OKLAHOMA
Thursday, October 06
· CONGRESS SHOULD VOTE NO ON A MEGA-REFINERY AT CUSHING, OKLAHOMA
Wednesday, October 05
· WHY I CONTINUE TO WORK TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Monday, September 26
· LINCOLN LUTHERAN HIGH SCHOOL OFFICIALS COVER-UP SCANDAL
Sunday, September 25
· IT'S NOW TIME TO DO A BIT OF FINGER POINTING
· A LETTER FROM A VERY UPSET MISSISSIPPI DOCTOR
Tuesday, September 20
· RELIGIOUS HUMOR THAT'S NON-DENOMINATIONAL
· COUNCIL SHOULD SAY NO TO ANOTHER MULTI-PLEX
Monday, September 19
· STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

Older Articles



Content copyright © 2018 Van Valkenburg & Associates, Inc.
Admin - Stats

PHP-Nuke Copyright © 2005 by Francisco Burzi. This is free software, and you may redistribute it under the GPL. PHP-Nuke comes with absolutely no warranty, for details, see the license.