NEW EURO-ENGLISH
Date: Friday, April 12 @ 09:13:00 CDT Topic: News and Views
Bad enough those pushing for English to be a second language in our public Schools. Now European Union commissioners have picked English over Gernam as the preferred EU language, but with certain required modifications. This article will clue you in as to how things can be screwed up through compromise. Don't be surprised if the N.E.A. endorses the idea for use in our public schools.
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used
instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will
resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be
growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third
year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year,
peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z"
and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes
vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Und efter
ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst place....
[This is not "Van Original" , but it
is good enough to present for your interest]
Euroeng
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